Superman

I’m not a movie person. I could count on one hand the number of movies I’ve seen the last five years (Unless you count The Princess Bride, which I watch at least once a month because it’s the greatest movie of all time).

So, my friends set out on a personal mission to broaden my cinematic horizons.

They decided I need to be initiated into the world of DC Comics. So, we watched the Superman movie, Man of Steel. (That’s DC, right? I’m honestly not sure.)

Though most of the movie focused on Clark Kent's adulthood ventures, the story would sometimes cut to defining moments in his childhood.

In one scene, a young Clark is being bullied by some older kids. Having already discovered his supernatural strength, Clark knows that he could take them out faster than a speeding bullet. But he doesn't. Instead, he resists the urge to fight back. Just as they're about to pound him, Clark's dad shows up and the bullies run off.

Clark, who had been cornered against a chain link fence, gets up and says, "I wanted to hit that kid. I wanted to hit him so bad." His dad nods. "I know you did. I mean, part of me even wanted you to. But then what?"

And he says something profound.

"You have to decide what kind of a man you're going to grow up to be, Clark. Because whoever that man is, good character or bad, he is going to change the world."

His dad saw in him both an enormous potential for good and an enormous capacity for evil. And he understood that every decision would be a step towards one or the other. But either way, Clark Kent was destined to change things.

And so are you. Every day, with the choices you make, you are deciding what kind of man (or woman) you are going to be. And good character or bad, you too change the world.

You change the world of your spouse, of your kids, of your friends and your co-workers and your neighbors.

The question, then, is whether or not you will change things for better or for worse. Will you grow into the man or woman you were made to be, walking in step with the One who made you? Or will you walk away from Him and, by extension, oppose His plan and purpose for your life? There is no third option. Every single decision you make- even the most seemingly unimportant- is a step towards one or the other.

But make no mistake. Good character or bad, you will change the world.

Learning a Few Moves

If you've never listened to the stand-up comedy of Brian Regan, you need to. He once did a hilarious bit on dancing. He said, "I've learned a few moves, you know, to fit in. You know what I haven't figured out? How to have fun."

That pretty much sums up my relationship with dancing.

Learning a few moves is how I survive wedding receptions, which, with high school dances behind me is (mercifully) the only time I dance. I've gotten pretty good at rocking side to side and, every once in a while, I'm even on beat.

But, I've never learned how to have fun doing it.

There's nothing wrong with learning a few moves to make those inevitable social situations more bearable.

There are times, though, when there's more on the line. There are times when the stakes are much, much higher. 

Sometimes, learning a few moves means forfeiting our integrity. 

Sometimes, fitting in means compromising the truth.

Sometimes, earning the approval of others means sacrificing our values.

It's not worth it. Surrendering who we are and what we believe to keep, momentarily, from standing out is not worth it. The cost is exponentially greater than the reward. 

I will probably never enjoy dancing. I'll probably never fit in on the dance floor. But, that's okay. It's only my pride at stake- not my character.

The Curse of Zeigarnik

There is a concept in psychological research known as the Zeigarnik Effect. The basic idea is that people have a drive to complete tasks rather than leave them unfinished. It’s why loyalty cards are effective. It’s why we loathe having an inbox full of unread emails. It’s why we feel a sense of accomplishment when we check something off our to-do lists. It’s why we don’t like to be interrupted when we’re in the middle of something.

The Zeigarnik Effect is key to being a functional and productive person. Can you imagine how little we would accomplish without this drive to finish things? We would probably never take out the garbage, remember to go grocery shopping, or bother with any of the less exciting tasks necessary to living as a properly socialized adult.

However, this blessing can quickly become a curse.

You see, the Zeigarnik Effect impacts what we do, but can also blind us who we are – and who we are becoming.

We can easily become more focused on productivity than people, more concerned with results than relationships, and more taken by completion than character.

To put what we do ahead of what we are is to put the cart before the horse. What we do ought to flow out of who we are, not the other way around.

Maybe we need fewer to-do lists. Maybe we need a to-be list. Maybe we need to spend less time on tasks – important though they may be – and spend more time on cultivating generosity, walking in faithfulness, exercising patience and making peace with others.

Don’t fall victim to the curse of Zeigarnik. Resist the urge to measure your life by your productivity. Resolve to spend time on who you are.