Hot Pockets

I love stand-up comedy.

Of all my (many) quirks, this is the one my family teases me about most often, probably because I think that because I listen to a lot of comedy I, too, must be hilarious. Apparently, it does not work that way.  But, I digress.

The reason I love stand-up comedy is that it exposes ridiculous human behaviors through the lens of the mundane. We are bizarre creatures and don’t even know it.

The other night, I went to see one of my favorite comedians – Jim Gaffigan. He is known for his bits on food and is best known for his piece on Hot Pockets.

If you’ve never had a Hot Pocket, congratulations. You are in an elite club  that comprises seven other Americans.

Hot Pockets, as described by Gaffigan, are a Pop-Tart crust filled with nasty meat. There is also a vegetarian version for “people who don’t want to eat meat, but still want diarrhea.”

I don’t think anyone is under any illusion that Hot Pockets are healthy. No one thinks they are doing their body any good by consuming a Hot Pocket. Yet, millions are sold every year.

“I’ve never eaten a Hot Pocket and afterwards thought ‘I’m glad I ate that,’” Gaffigan observes.

I listened (and laughed) as he talked about Hot Pockets, and thought about how I have made a lot of choices I know aren’t good for me, exposing me as the ridiculous person I am.

I've chosen to cling to jealousy and watched my gratitude erode.

I've chosen to be dishonest and watched trust deteriorate.

I've chosen selfishness and watched relationships break down.

I've never given into greed, arrogance, impatience, anger, disloyalty, or cowardice, and afterwards thought, "I'm glad I did that."

There's just nothing funny about self-destruction.

I'm going to be more careful about what I let into my heart. There is too much at stake.

Learning a Few Moves

If you've never listened to the stand-up comedy of Brian Regan, you need to. He once did a hilarious bit on dancing. He said, "I've learned a few moves, you know, to fit in. You know what I haven't figured out? How to have fun."

That pretty much sums up my relationship with dancing.

Learning a few moves is how I survive wedding receptions, which, with high school dances behind me is (mercifully) the only time I dance. I've gotten pretty good at rocking side to side and, every once in a while, I'm even on beat.

But, I've never learned how to have fun doing it.

There's nothing wrong with learning a few moves to make those inevitable social situations more bearable.

There are times, though, when there's more on the line. There are times when the stakes are much, much higher. 

Sometimes, learning a few moves means forfeiting our integrity. 

Sometimes, fitting in means compromising the truth.

Sometimes, earning the approval of others means sacrificing our values.

It's not worth it. Surrendering who we are and what we believe to keep, momentarily, from standing out is not worth it. The cost is exponentially greater than the reward. 

I will probably never enjoy dancing. I'll probably never fit in on the dance floor. But, that's okay. It's only my pride at stake- not my character.

Declaring Forgiveness

In an episode of The Office, a comedic television series on life at a paper supply company, manager Michael Scott runs into some serious financial troubles. One of the accountants, Oscar, suggests that he declare bankruptcy. Michael takes Oscar's advice  literally and marches out of his office and loudly says, "I DECLARE BANKRUPTCY!" He returns to his office, satisfied that he has done what he needed to do.

A moment later, Oscar reappears in Michael's doorway. "Hey, I just wanted you to know that you can't just say the word 'bankruptcy' and expect anything to happen," he says, to which Michael responds, "I didn't say it, I declared it."

I wonder if sometimes we think of forgiveness like Michael thought of bankruptcy. We declare our forgiveness, thinking that by simply saying the words something has changed.

Forgiveness is so much more than words we say. Forgiveness means deciding to cancel a debt. Forgiveness means that we let go of what we think we deserve. Forgiveness means that we lay down the right to get even. Forgiveness means that we stop resurrecting the hurt years after the fact. It is not enough to declare forgiveness with our words. We must also declare forgiveness with our lives.

Jesus declared forgiveness by giving up His. How can we do less?